So I’m getting a little flak for not updating this in a while, but I’ve been a little busy.
We headed out on vacation a few weeks ago, Me, H, the count, and about 5000 lbs of baby gear. We bought a big ‘ol SUV some time back for the purpose of having room “when we had a family”. Well, apparently that SUV wasn’t big enough for a 12 pound kid plus us, so I had to go out and purchase a roof rack. I’m afraid if we have another kid, I’m going to need to buy a 16 ft trailer just to go see the grandparents. No wonder few people stray far from home, it’s cheaper to see grandparents when you don’t have to transport half the house.
We headed to the beautiful, pleasant beaches of the Gulf Coast and spent approximately 14.2 minutes enjoying the shore. The count doesn’t like the sun, doesn’t like the lotion, and the water is too cold. Luckily, the place we were at had a lazy river that we could lounge around in … and the count only likes that for 1.5 laps. You would be amazed how a 4 month olds voice can carry as it bounces off the walls of a high rise condo.
In my previous blog I mentioned about my digestive problems, well they were still very much present when we went on vacation, and thus starts my humorous portion for today.
I had to really watch what I was eating, lest my problems come screaming back, so I was doing my best to stay away from things that would cause such distress. That being said, I was maybe eating things that my digestive track wasn’t used to, and although I wasn’t in pain, there were some “unfortunate side effects” associated with said grubbage.
My sister volunteered to baby sit the count the evening of H’s and my anniversary. I thought it would be romantic to take H to dinner at the Bed and Breakfast that we had dinner at the night we got married. We got there, and had a very nice dinner. Got to enjoy each others company for a while, and just relax.
After dinner we ordered dessert and kept up our delightful conversation. H mentioned that it would be nice to have a cup of coffee with dessert and I agreed. I looked around for our waiter to let him know our request. I caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye so I turned in my chair to summon him. As I called to him “Excuse me sir” the room seemed to hush for my request as all ears fell upon me. I don’t know if it was a result of my recent diet, the position I was in when I turned, or a combination of other such factors, but as the room fell silent and before I could get anything out of my mouth, I let out the biggest fart that perhaps ever has befallen the ears of man. Not missing a beat, I just said “Can we have a couple of coffee’s when you get a chance?”
I think my wife just about died, but what could I do. If I acted as though I did anything wrong, or if I heard it (how could I not have) then I would have no deniability that it was me.
As my wife stifled her laughter she said “Well I guess I know what the next blog topic will be” and so as not to disappoint her, yes, I again share my extreme embarrassment for your amusement.
