You will all have to forgive the absence of writing. I’ll continue to try and update this weekly, but right now I’m in the shifts. I take the 10pm – 2am sleeping shift, and Heidi takes the 2am – 6am shift. So running on 4 hours of daily sleep limits my cognitive abilities to an even lower level than was previously thought to be possible and still manage to breathe.
This week we all went to Physical Therapy. When we arrived there, H took us through the back room to get to the waiting area (she works at the hospital, and this was the only way she knew how to get there). This brief tour, accompanied by the characters loitering in the waiting room gave all of the charm of a sanatorium. The waiting room was almost large enough to hold a mop bucket and dust pan. It was crowded with about half a dozen people who must have all just come from an airport smoking lounge. I think I got my daily intake of nicotine just by being in close proximity.
The “work area” (or as I refer to PT spaces, the dungeon) looked like they had taken the accounts payable department, removed all the desks, and then furnished it with various pieces of equipment from someone’s garage sale. One “exercise” area consisted of a folding chair, pushed up against a closed door. The door that had one of those “over the door” hooks on it. Attached to that was a pulley with what seemed to be a water skiing rope threaded though it with the handles on either end. I thought this looked rather unorthodox until I looked closer at the door. There was a sign on it that read “Restroom” (I swear to God, I can’t make this stuff up). Which leads me to all kinds of questions like; What happens if I’m in the restroom and someone decides to use this equipment, how can I get out? In this case, how can the PT know who is actually doing the grunting during the workout? What if I really have to go while someone is using the equipment? And finally, What happens if I’m sitting there minding my own business and someone gets a good tug on that rope and the door comes flying open? It’s not like the door was around the corner or anything. It’s kind of like putting a bath room off of your living room. Sure, you can use it, but it’s not exactly soundproof and if you have guests in your house, they’re GOING to notice something.
OK, so the story gets better. The PT came and got us from the waiting closet and took us into another completely different room. This was apparently the kids PT area. It was full of swings, toys, and play mats. It was actually a very nice little area, a stark contrast to the office/gym/bathroom/garage sale next door. Samuel did very well … he didn’t pee on anyone this time. He passed with flying colors and hopefully won’t have to go back any time soon … unless he needs a cigarette.
Well, here’s the “other” announcement you’ve all been waiting for. We’re going to be having puppies in a few weeks. I’m announcing this for 2 reasons.
1 - We thought it would be good to get the word out that our cute little bulldogs are going to be having cuter little bulldogs and maybe begin to find some good homes for our puppies. I will try to find a way to either create a website for the puppies when they’re born, or put their pictures here. The cost will be $1000 each. If you know anything about Bulldogs, you will probably say, “Wow, that’s a good deal.” And if you don’t know anything about them, you probably think we’re crazy. Either way, pass it along to friends and family, and if you ever have one, you won’t want anything else.
2 – H’s cousin is out of town on assignment. His family will be visiting us when the puppies are born and his kids have recently expressed strong interest in getting a dog. There’s a good probability that when he gets home from assignment, there will be a little Bulldog waiting on him regardless of what his opinion is. I say this because H’s cousin (although the nicest guy you’ll ever meet) is a Lt Colonel in the US Army. And not only is he in the Army, he’s in Special Forces. Without going into any details that would be more speculation than fact on my part, let’s just say this guy could kill me with a teacup. I have a feeling that every time this cute little bundle of barks goes wee wee on his carpet, I will voluntarily make the four hour trip to his house in order to clean it up. Don’t get me wrong, this guy is really a good man … but so is Evander Holyfield I hear, and I wouldn’t want to be on his bad side either.
So if I mysteriously disappear, tell my wife I love her.
Thanks for all the prayers
This week we all went to Physical Therapy. When we arrived there, H took us through the back room to get to the waiting area (she works at the hospital, and this was the only way she knew how to get there). This brief tour, accompanied by the characters loitering in the waiting room gave all of the charm of a sanatorium. The waiting room was almost large enough to hold a mop bucket and dust pan. It was crowded with about half a dozen people who must have all just come from an airport smoking lounge. I think I got my daily intake of nicotine just by being in close proximity.
The “work area” (or as I refer to PT spaces, the dungeon) looked like they had taken the accounts payable department, removed all the desks, and then furnished it with various pieces of equipment from someone’s garage sale. One “exercise” area consisted of a folding chair, pushed up against a closed door. The door that had one of those “over the door” hooks on it. Attached to that was a pulley with what seemed to be a water skiing rope threaded though it with the handles on either end. I thought this looked rather unorthodox until I looked closer at the door. There was a sign on it that read “Restroom” (I swear to God, I can’t make this stuff up). Which leads me to all kinds of questions like; What happens if I’m in the restroom and someone decides to use this equipment, how can I get out? In this case, how can the PT know who is actually doing the grunting during the workout? What if I really have to go while someone is using the equipment? And finally, What happens if I’m sitting there minding my own business and someone gets a good tug on that rope and the door comes flying open? It’s not like the door was around the corner or anything. It’s kind of like putting a bath room off of your living room. Sure, you can use it, but it’s not exactly soundproof and if you have guests in your house, they’re GOING to notice something.
OK, so the story gets better. The PT came and got us from the waiting closet and took us into another completely different room. This was apparently the kids PT area. It was full of swings, toys, and play mats. It was actually a very nice little area, a stark contrast to the office/gym/bathroom/garage sale next door. Samuel did very well … he didn’t pee on anyone this time. He passed with flying colors and hopefully won’t have to go back any time soon … unless he needs a cigarette.
Well, here’s the “other” announcement you’ve all been waiting for. We’re going to be having puppies in a few weeks. I’m announcing this for 2 reasons.
1 - We thought it would be good to get the word out that our cute little bulldogs are going to be having cuter little bulldogs and maybe begin to find some good homes for our puppies. I will try to find a way to either create a website for the puppies when they’re born, or put their pictures here. The cost will be $1000 each. If you know anything about Bulldogs, you will probably say, “Wow, that’s a good deal.” And if you don’t know anything about them, you probably think we’re crazy. Either way, pass it along to friends and family, and if you ever have one, you won’t want anything else.
2 – H’s cousin is out of town on assignment. His family will be visiting us when the puppies are born and his kids have recently expressed strong interest in getting a dog. There’s a good probability that when he gets home from assignment, there will be a little Bulldog waiting on him regardless of what his opinion is. I say this because H’s cousin (although the nicest guy you’ll ever meet) is a Lt Colonel in the US Army. And not only is he in the Army, he’s in Special Forces. Without going into any details that would be more speculation than fact on my part, let’s just say this guy could kill me with a teacup. I have a feeling that every time this cute little bundle of barks goes wee wee on his carpet, I will voluntarily make the four hour trip to his house in order to clean it up. Don’t get me wrong, this guy is really a good man … but so is Evander Holyfield I hear, and I wouldn’t want to be on his bad side either.
So if I mysteriously disappear, tell my wife I love her.
Thanks for all the prayers
I would LOVE a bulldog - but sadly, I don't think I can have anymore creatures in my house who poop.
ReplyDeleteAnd my brother is special forces too. I try hard to think about what he does and trains for. But its nice to know he is on my side. :-)