Conversations

As a guy, my mind tends to do awful things, like jump from subject to subject. The wife (as all wife’s do) usually wants to know what I’m thinking but is rarely satisfied with the true answer. Although my mind jumps around more than a 4 year old on chocolate waiting for Santa, I usually have a little logic to where my thoughts come from.

Here’s a typical thought pattern from conversation to conversation.

Wife: “It’s a beautiful day outside.”
Mind:
- It sure is a beautiful day
- It’s days like this that I wish I had a convertible car
- I still need to change the tires on this car
- Wouldn’t it be cool if I put BIG ‘ol tires on it
- Monster trucks have some BIG ‘OL TIRES
- I’ve never been to a monster Truck Rally
- They say you need ear protection when you go to a Monster Truck Rally
- Wouldn’t it be bad to have to go to the doctor for ear damage at a Truck Rally
- Don’t I have a doctor’s appointment Tuesday
Me: “Hey Babe, I forgot to tell you I have a Doctor’s Appointment Tuesday”

And the wife wants to know what made me say that. Well, there you have it. I’m just saying that this is how a guys brain jumps from one subject to another – it’s crazy, but it has a little bit of reason.

Apparently my wife’s brain works a little different. She’s able to press “PAUSE” on any conversation and then press play at any time and I’m supposed to remember which of these innumerable conversations we’re talking about now.

Here’s an example of the conversations we had Saturday during about an hour.

Me “Rita’s last day at work was Friday”
Wife “Do you know where she’s going to work”
Me “I haven’t heard”
Wife “I’m going to go inside with the little man and see if I can find a coat”
Me “OK, I’m going to stay out here and see if I can find the M&M you dropped between the seats, then I’ll be in”
I spent 10 minutes pulling a french fry, a sugar baby, and 2 M&M’s from underneath the seats.
I go inside, look for the wife. We discuss the sale that Old Navy has going on, how we each got a coupon for “Free Stickers”.
We look at a couple of coats we have found. Talk about the price. Look for some hats and decide what they have is way too big, but we really need some hats. Maybe we should go look at Kohl’s. But this is the last jacket in his size. We’ll put this on hold and come back if we can’t find anything.
So I put the jacket on hold.
Do you think the wee man needs another blanket? He sure is mad because we made him try on so many hats. He did not like that at all. Did you find anything? Me neither, I didn’t really want to look. It’s getting about lunch time, do you think that’s why the wee man is fussy?

We walk out after about and hour, and this is the first thing my wife says to me on the way to Kohl’s.

“So she didn’t say where she’s going?”

I have no CLUE what she is talking about.

She is of course referring to Rita and if she has gotten a new job … but I’m stuck back on Monster trucks somewhere.

Some days I wonder just how long she’ll put up with me until she cracks … or cracks me over the head.